The Saints' Locker Room

Colin:"So what do you want me to say? That I had feelings for Amanda? Hell come on I've had feelings for Carmella too, and Lilith, and Amber. Happy?..."

Micah: ....What?

Colin:"...I know I didn't stutter."

Micah: Then Colin.....who do you want?

Colin:" Oh come on there is only one possible choice..."

Alexis: Is there?

Colin:" Lilith I'm pretty sure is a sociopath. Carmella, ha there is and always will only be one person she will ever want to be with... And Amanda, well no Edwards would get that close to an ORyan..."

He looks between alexis and alex

"Go figure how wrong I was there.."

Alexis: So... you're basing your choice not on any merit of Amber's but by how unavailable or unreachable your other choices are?

Colin:" No...Amber was the only one from outside the group that tried to get to know me, to show me any kind of love without demanding anything."

Alexis looks at Colin curiously.

Alexis: And you're afraid of that?

Colin:" I know it sounds strange its... I guess I was always scared to have another person in my life hurt..."

Alexis: Have you ever mentioned that to her... the real Amber?

Colin:"...No."

Jimi: So....what do you think you should do?

Colin starts to laugh

Colin:"I can't think of a single answer that isn't going to get one of you questioning my motives. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't..."

Alexis: So what does that say? Are you questioning your own motives?

Colin:"I'm saying maybe I don't know my own motives...Or what I want.....................Or deserve............"

Alexis: We are the devil's advocate here... do not change your answers to please us. At the base, what is it that you want?

Colin:"What I want? What I want is a family that isn't so screwed up that I feel I'm the only one capable of defending it AND stupid enough to actually do it......What I want is a second chance to not screw up every damned friendship and relationship I had.....What I want is.....a second chance..."

he pauses for a moment in thought

"Or a first chance...which ever it is...to fall in love again...
Call me crazy but...maybe forgetting is the best answer...Then let the chips fall where they will...I....

Oh what the hell am I saying??....."

Alexis: You're the only one capable of defending it, huh? How's that working out for you?

She smirks.

Alexis: You have no obligation to fix the family, and really, other than the problems with the Edwards what is wrong with the O'Ryans?

She walks right up to him and pokes his chest.

Alexis: You need to fix your own relationships and not worry about your father's. He is capable of taking care of them on his own. If you think the best way of doing it is forgetting and starting over, so be it. Just remember, no one else will have forgotten.

Colin:"He wasn't for so long..."

he pauses for a long while

Colin:"I...think I would like a fresh start..."

Jimi: That's it Colin.....try to start over. Live your life for you, love because you want to....and most, most importantly....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mayCvk2P4f0&feature=related

Colin stares at Jimi

Colin:".....Jimi.............I freaking hate you sometimes....."

He smirks

Jimi: No....you love me. I'm just the messenger....and the homework guy.

Colin:"What you going to do when your sisters a grad?"